Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Heavy detox brings me to a screeching halt...

Contraction. I woke up this morning thinking a sauna session might bring me some energy but it did the opposite. I laid back down after my 40 min sweat and ended up falling asleep for another 5 hours after already getting 10 hours of sleep last night. This body and mind are weak, so weak today that all I could do is sleep and lay in bed breathing, meditating, sleeping and practicing just being. No type of stimulation, not even music is enticing in this empty space of contraction and healing that pervades my existence for most of the day.

Over the past 3 weeks there's been a gradual increase of exhaustion and today was the pinnacle. Hopefully it won't get worse but who knows. The healing reaction started when I got rid of the parasite, that bastard Rope Worm that was in me for 10 friggin years! Oh what a glorious day that was. Truly a celebration and landmark for the dedication I've had to my healing process. And what I didn't realize was that it was also a signal that meant my body had enough energy to get rid of other things too, and more detox was on the horizon.

Previous to getting rid of the parasite I had been flying high for about a month with some of the most beautiful energy and inspiration I've ever experienced in my life. Feeling alive and passionate, I made 4 videos for youtube and added many pages to my website, met with friends, frolicked in nature and cooked amazing meals. I had conveniently forgotten what I had learned, that when you're on an Nutritional Balancing program, especially in the first couple of years, you can be sure that a rise in energy is to be followed by a detox. It's a common pattern that everyone goes through. It actually makes sense when you think about it. When a depleted body gets some energy, that energy will be prioritized by the body and used for some deep healing. And unfortunately these healing reactions or detoxes can go on for weeks or months, so all we can do is ride it out. Luckily my detox symptoms aren't too bad, other than fatigue it's been sore feet and slight headaches on occasion. Detox symptoms can get much worse as I've read about in the FB forums. I just sent my hair in for my 3rd test, hoping it shows some heavy metal dumping.

When I'm this exhausted, there's no resisting. I have no choice, I must stop, be still and let the body heal. The mind is shut down, trying to get anything done is a joke. Even attempting to text someone is a huge task. Whereas before I would be not only exhausted but also depressed that I was exhausted, now I surrender to this cycle with a little more grace, knowing that because I'm giving my body the nutrition and minerals it needs and doing the detox program that this exhaustion is actually a good thing and I can trust that I will be stronger when it's over.

I imagine my precious cells with little hard hats on, wiping the sweat from their brows as they work diligently to sweep away the heavy metals and toxins that are keeping my body/mind from functioning at a an optimal level. As I lay in bed, half awake, all I can do is honor them by placing my hand on my heart and the other one in my belly sending myself love, bringing in light and thanking my body for everything it does for me.

These phases of contraction are familiar to me after having lived with adrenal fatigue for so long. I know that with every contraction a beautiful expansion is also soon to come. It's taken me many years not to resist this fatigue, I no longer shove stimulants down my throat in an attempt to stay productive. Even though I know better by now, the same old tape plays in my head as I sleep the day away. It's funneling into me from a deeply conditioned collective consciousness. In a nutshell it says, "If you're not doing, you're not worthy!" This is BS and me healing my body and learning to just be is the best gift I can give this planet.

I'm so thankful and grateful that I am supported by the universe in this healing journey. Won't you join me in your journey back to radiant health?