Adrenal Fatigue Healing Vlog #4: Emotional Retracing and Childhood Trauma

When one is on a Nutritional Balancing program, the body will go through something called retracing. The concept of retracing is that when our body starts to get everything it needs in the form of minerals, diet and detox protocols, it begins to heal itself. All the current and old issues in the body get addressed layer by layer. In retracing, the body will systematically go through the body and heal any old infections, injuries, physical and emotional traumas. However, in order for these things to be healed, they must first resurface, sometimes even stronger than the first time. This is a blog about the recent emotional retracing I just experienced.

This is very similar to the concept I'm learning from my teacher, Devaji. In the spiritual enlightenment game, we call it burning. When we see an old pattern surface, by bearing witness to it with the light and love of consciousness it begins to burn. And what is it burning? It's burning away the false constructs that keep us blocked from seeing reality as it is; a beautiful, luminous, love drenched reflection of our own perfect SELF.

As Devaji says, nothing new happens in the reflection we call our life. It may come in different costumes, but it's never new. Devaji teaches that everything that is painful in our dream is just cycled around for us to bring the light of awareness too it so we can set it free. Every situation that triggers us in anyway is a potential opportunity to bring the light of consciousness to it. When we see that the feeling is old and familiar and just be with it, not trying to change it, the more it will be seen through as just a construct which is blocking our view of the pure beauty and light of reality. Every single thing in our dream is designed to carry us home, there are no exceptions to this rule.

These past few days what cycled around for me was the chaos and sadness from my childhood. (Chiron is exactly opposite my natal Venus)

My roommate came into my room a few days ago and told me she’s going to get her son, who’s 18 years old, relapsing on heroine and is struggling to keep it together. He lives about 4 hours away. She found a Christian based program for young adult addicts, that's a year long and is totally free, but it takes a few months to get processed and get placed. In the meantime he may need to stay here.

She's been in a pattern of rescuing him as best she can for a few years now. A pattern she can't seem to break. It's depleted her enormously but she's handling it like a champ. There’s been a back and forth over the last few months of him being kind of okay using the Suboxone to stave off his addiction, and then everything falling apart and him losing control again. There's an urgency of getting out of the place he''s living because there’s danger; maybe he owes someone drug money. There were people pounding on his door one night, we're not sure what kind of trouble he's in but it sounds scary.  

She was going to bring him back here and said he'd have to go cold turkey. The idea of having him detoxing here made me really uncomfortable. Being familiar with drug addiction I know how difficult it is to stop, and although not from personal experience, I can imagine withdrawals from heroine are intense. It seems too much for her to handle on her own, he needs professional help.

This chaotic situation in my "dream"; the uncertainty of his fragile future, the unbearable sadness of drug addiction to begin with, feeling the familiar darkness that he must be swimming in, all came flooding into my system. I went to the Public Satsang with Devaji that day, by the end of it, the emotions had bubbled to the surface. I had a good cry to release the energy while grocery shopping and after in my car.

Later I came home and called Devaji to ask him for support around this. He asked me if this feeling of chaos was present in my childhood. Absolutely it was, but not in such an obvious way. I was raised in a typical American family that shoves the uncomfortable things under the rug and acts like everything is just fine. If you asked my sister she still claims we had a glorious childhood and our parents were nearly perfect. Even though she's the Projector and she probably absorbed just as much or more than I did. Unfortunately, she's still numbed to it all and is living life as if everything is still "fine".

My parents in their defence were good, loving parents. An outsider looking in probably would've seen our family as a healthy one. But here's the blessed curse of being Plutonian in the deepest way (Pluto conjunct Sun and Rahu). I knew from coming out of the shoot, everything wasn't fine! My parents went through the most traumatic thing anyone can possibly imagine. They lost their 1st child in a tragic accident. He was only 3 years old. Playing superman with a friend at a neighbors house, his cape got too close to the furnace and caught on fire. Not knowing what to do he ran home for Mommy. And my poor Mom. Can you imagine coming outside to see your 3 year old on fire. She had to roll him on the grass to put the fire out. After being rushed to the hospital with 3rd degree burns all over his body, he slipped into a coma. After a month of uncertainty of his fate, a nurse accidentally stuck the tracheotomy tube down the wrong hole and it killed him. This story is like every parent's worst nightmare. They went through marriage counseling and mourned his loss. But my Dad didn't get the chance to really process this event and his broken heart was never fully mended. He didn't know how to express his emotions and they seethed inside him manifesting in eventual cancer.

After a tragedy like that, everything isn't fine! About 6 months after the tragedy happened, my Mom was pregnant with me. The strong undercurrent of sadness seeping through the amniotic fluid while I was in the womb. And I came into the world with my bright light ready to shine. There was an immediate projection from them that I would transform this sadness and be the brightest star. And try as I did, unconsciously thinking it was my job to make everyone feel better with my Open Emotional Center, I couldn't take on something this big. Taking this task on as a child feels like a big cause for my Adrenal Fatigue that I'm still healing today at 38 years old.

Even my friggin name, Trista, in Latin it means "One who had a sorrow all her own until she smiled." But eventually just my smile couldn't erase the pain. Living in this soup of sadness, confusion and the helplessness of being able to heal my parents pain came up for review a few days ago. Triggered by the situation with my roommate and her son. This feeling of helplessness to be able to do anything about it is the crushing part. The fatigue in the body is a painful gift which reminds me of the truth of the situation. It's not my job to fix anyone or make the bad feelings go away. All I can do is be with this and trust that God knows exactly what he's doing. Her son will find salvation no matter what happens.

Devaji in his divine wisdom gave me the guidance to just hold a space of love and stillness for these old familiar emotions to pass through. And so that's what I did, and they passed. Letting go a little more as life continues teaching me how to live it. Accepting these uncomfortable emotions is all part of the play. Contrary to what I might have wanted it to be, life isn't just a bowl of cherries. The sweetness isn't just in the happy times. There is incredible wisdom in the darkness if we can sit with it long enough. That I am designed to be a servant of darkness is becoming more apparent.

He Loves me Free

Written after our meeting yesterday...and it happens to be Valentines day.

Your Pure love has come
to carry me home
it's a gift from heaven
a cradle from the divine
the missing piece
i didn't even know i needed

you penetrate deeper this time
with the gaze of eternity
something softens
allowing currents of warmth and tenderness
to slowly melt this fortress of protection

this pure love
never known before
shatters the mind

in our silence, I begin to feel you
its not from something i did
or what i said
or what i can do for you
you really do
Love me True

the trust grows
a knowing deep inside whispers
lean in sweet girl
into this one True thing
fall in my love
and discover your SELF
that which you deeply long for

with your unconditional Love to guide the way
freedom is assured
Thank you Devaji

Anger Management Activities that Work

I want to share with you one of my favorite free anger management activities that actually works. It's called Fists of Anger and it only takes 3 minutes. It works powerfully to transform anger, anxiety, frustration and grief into tranquility.

This morning I woke up super tired again (it's been about 3 weeks of this) with a detox headache. Over the course of the morning I could feel some strong emotions bubbling to the surface. With my 2nd coffee enema, I asked the spirits of the water and coffee plant for help releasing what was no longer serving me. It seemed to have worked because when I got in the shower, a spontaneous scream came out of my mouth and I started to cry pretty hard. It was a huge release and it felt good to let it go. There's been a lot of emotion around feeling like my throat chakra is blocked and I can't express myself the way I want to. 

After the shower I immediately sat down on my yoga mat to do fists of anger. In the middle of it I got up and grabbed my computer inspired to make this video. I hope this free anger management technique helps you as much has it has helped me. Keep an open mind and get into it, you won't be disappointed!

Kundalini yoga has been an incredible healing tool for me. It works to clear out the subconscious patterns that keep us stuck in negative thinking and habits that don't serve us. If you're suffering from depression, stress, anxiety, or just feel stuck, you may want to check out his powerful tool. 

For the best Kundalini yoga classes, check out my teacher Jai Dev Singh's online academy. It's only $1 to try for the 1st month. 

Kundalini Yoga is the science, art and technology that enables one to access and utilize his or her own creative power for elevation of consciousness, healing and other purposes beyond reproduction.

1st Step to True Healing

You may ask.,"How long will I need to be on this (thyroid, hormone, blood-pressure, anti depressant) medication doctor?"

and the Doctor will say, "Well, it's possible you'll need to take it for the rest of your life."

This is your sign to run away as fast as possible and find a new doctor or go to your nearest Nutritional Balancing practitioner. The human body is capable of healing itself when you give it what it needs and anyone who thinks otherwise is simply brainwashed and living in the old paradigm.

The 1st step needed to activate this self healing mechanism is your active participation and heart felt intention to make the necessary changes; emotional, physical and spiritual. Admit that you're willing to change, get on your knees and pray for guidance, and trust you will be lead to the people and things that will help heal you.

There's no such thing as a magic pill, a treatment, or an experience that will completely heal you 100% so you can get back to your "normal" routine. Your health crisis is designed to completely change your whole perspective on life. I had to learn this the hard way. It's been 6 years since I started down this road to true happiness and vitality and I'm finally understanding that the journey is never really going to end. As frustrated as it becomes, I'll be forever grateful for this adrenal fatigue for slowing me down enough to turn within. It'd be nice to have more energy and I will but the point is when I'm slowed down I have to face myself and my fears and this is where the greatest growth has happened.

The sooner we can grasp that our healing journey IS our purpose and that healing won't happen overnight, the more we can relax into each day and accept it as it comes, knowing that we are being divinely guided towards more wisdom, true joy, radiant health and inner happiness.

Surrender, Trust, and Love are the big 3 ingredients needed to heal our spirit before any technique, supplement, medicine or therapy can heal our bodies.

Inhale Love, Exhale Relax.
The mantra of a this Adrenal Fatigue Warrior

Adrenal Fatigue Healing Vlog: #1: Detox Blues, Ayahuasca, Healing as ...

An honest update from the adrenal fatigue healing trenches. I'm 9 months into the Nutritional Balancing Program and it's been a very difficult last few months as I am going through a serious heavy metal detox, extreme fatigue, depression, brain fog, gas, spaciness, dandruff, and emptiness. The good news is that I'm dumping heavy metals and parasites. Somehow I managed to pull it together enough to make this jumbled vlog (honestly I cheated and had a double Americano this morning) where I share a little about my adrenal fatigue and depression story and background, how I used the plant medicine Ayahuasca for healing depression and drug addictions, and then discuss how my debilitating adrenal fatigue has fueled a deep spiritual journey into the ultimate self inquiry, "Who am I?"

Heavy detox brings me to a screeching halt...

Contraction. I woke up this morning thinking a sauna session might bring me some energy but it did the opposite. I laid back down after my 40 min sweat and ended up falling asleep for another 5 hours after already getting 10 hours of sleep last night. This body and mind are weak, so weak today that all I could do is sleep and lay in bed breathing, meditating, sleeping and practicing just being. No type of stimulation, not even music is enticing in this empty space of contraction and healing that pervades my existence for most of the day.

Over the past 3 weeks there's been a gradual increase of exhaustion and today was the pinnacle. Hopefully it won't get worse but who knows. The healing reaction started when I got rid of the parasite, that bastard Rope Worm that was in me for 10 friggin years! Oh what a glorious day that was. Truly a celebration and landmark for the dedication I've had to my healing process. And what I didn't realize was that it was also a signal that meant my body had enough energy to get rid of other things too, and more detox was on the horizon.

Previous to getting rid of the parasite I had been flying high for about a month with some of the most beautiful energy and inspiration I've ever experienced in my life. Feeling alive and passionate, I made 4 videos for youtube and added many pages to my website, met with friends, frolicked in nature and cooked amazing meals. I had conveniently forgotten what I had learned, that when you're on an Nutritional Balancing program, especially in the first couple of years, you can be sure that a rise in energy is to be followed by a detox. It's a common pattern that everyone goes through. It actually makes sense when you think about it. When a depleted body gets some energy, that energy will be prioritized by the body and used for some deep healing. And unfortunately these healing reactions or detoxes can go on for weeks or months, so all we can do is ride it out. Luckily my detox symptoms aren't too bad, other than fatigue it's been sore feet and slight headaches on occasion. Detox symptoms can get much worse as I've read about in the FB forums. I just sent my hair in for my 3rd test, hoping it shows some heavy metal dumping.

When I'm this exhausted, there's no resisting. I have no choice, I must stop, be still and let the body heal. The mind is shut down, trying to get anything done is a joke. Even attempting to text someone is a huge task. Whereas before I would be not only exhausted but also depressed that I was exhausted, now I surrender to this cycle with a little more grace, knowing that because I'm giving my body the nutrition and minerals it needs and doing the detox program that this exhaustion is actually a good thing and I can trust that I will be stronger when it's over.

I imagine my precious cells with little hard hats on, wiping the sweat from their brows as they work diligently to sweep away the heavy metals and toxins that are keeping my body/mind from functioning at a an optimal level. As I lay in bed, half awake, all I can do is honor them by placing my hand on my heart and the other one in my belly sending myself love, bringing in light and thanking my body for everything it does for me.

These phases of contraction are familiar to me after having lived with adrenal fatigue for so long. I know that with every contraction a beautiful expansion is also soon to come. It's taken me many years not to resist this fatigue, I no longer shove stimulants down my throat in an attempt to stay productive. Even though I know better by now, the same old tape plays in my head as I sleep the day away. It's funneling into me from a deeply conditioned collective consciousness. In a nutshell it says, "If you're not doing, you're not worthy!" This is BS and me healing my body and learning to just be is the best gift I can give this planet.

I'm so thankful and grateful that I am supported by the universe in this healing journey. Won't you join me in your journey back to radiant health? 

Love,
T

More Adventures in Coffee Enemas - 7 months on NB

I've been in Nutritional Balancing now for 7 months, wow how time flies. Honestly, I'm feeling better than ever! My heart is open and I'm full of love of life. I'm dancing more, socializing and getting back in touch with my creativity and passion. My Natural Body Detox with Nutritional Balancing website and business are growing and I'm having a lot of fun gathering and sharing this information.  I'm so excited to help people with this amazing science and I have no doubt that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm so grateful!

I've noticed I can handle any social situation without even thinking about drinking or smoking because those things actually take me out of my natural high.

Of course I still go through phases of exhaustion when I'm having a detox. Usually they last about 2 or 3 days at most. My detox symptoms so far have been fatigue, headaches, sore feet, stinky sweat, sore hip flexors, tender breasts (more than just PMS) and I've also been having some lower back pain which I believe is associated with my Kundalini energy because whenever it hurts and I sit down to do silent meditation, my body begins to rock back and forth by itself.

Whenever I'm going through a heavy detox, I usually increase the Coffee Enemas to 3 or 4 per day using about 4 Tbslp of coffee. Most of the time this really helps because it clears out the toxins from my body. Occasionally no amount of coffee enemas are going to help with my adrenal fatigue and I just have to surrender and call it a day. Now that I know my fatigue is a sign that my body is getting rid of toxins, it's a little easier to surrender to it.

One day last week I woke up super exhausted and thought to myself "well I'm probably not going to get anything done today, I might as well relax." And instead of doing the coffee enema first thing in the morning, I just took it easy and slept in some more. Around 1pm in the afternoon I decided to give one a try and I'm so glad I did. I immediately felt better and by the 2nd one I felt like I was back to my energetic happy self again.

I love Coffee Enemas so much I made a couple How To Videos and posted them on youtube. If you want to show your love please hit the thumbs up to like the video and if you're really brave then make a comment.

PART 1: Coffee Enema Recipe

This is the basic coffee enema recipe where you boil the coffee for 13 minutes to allow all the nutrients and active ingredients to leech into the water. 

PART 2: Putting the Coffee Enema in your Bum!

Here's where I demonstrate how to use the enema bag, setting up a place for your enema, what to do during the enema and how to clean up after you're done. 

Don't be shy, give it a try!
Thanks for joining me on your journey back to Radiant Health! 

Coffee Addiction - The Cycle Ends Once Again

This coffee addiction is like the beloved blankie I couldn't part with until I was 13 years old. I loved that blankie so much, it comforted me through my childhood in many ways. At 13, I knew I'd outgrown it but for some reason I just couldn't let it go. Finally one day after building up the courage over many weeks, I acted in bold defiance against the part of myself that wouldn't grow up and I let it go. On the next trash day, I marched out to the curb and threw that blankie in the trash can. With sadness in my heart, I watched my treasured friend get dumped over the side of the truck, getting lost within the rest of people's inconsequential trash. Sure I missed it for awhile, especially at night, but I felt better knowing I had successfully made that right of passage from being a kid to being a teenager.

Today my Coffee Addiction got thrown in the trash.

I woke up a few days ago with a distinct taste of disdain on my tongue and a heavy fatigue throughout my entire body. It's a stage in the cycle of coffee addiction I know quite well after having been through it many times now. After I quitting for 3 months back in July, I started drinking a small cup of 1/2 decaf 1/2 regular again in October after hearing that it was okay on the NB program because coffee is yang. Ideally, Dr. Wilson says not to drink it because overall it is bad for our body, but he said if you have to have one cup you can.

But my mind only heard the first part, that it was okay to have some, and used that as an excuse to go back on it even though I knew with every cell in my being that my adrenals won't heal as quickly if I am drinking it. The self sabotaging part of me is incredibly powerful. I am truly amazed.

Despite my disdain a few days ago, I watched myself get up and make a cup of even stronger coffee than I had been drinking, I actually had 2 cups of it and then buzzed through a blog post and finally ate some food around 10:30am. Of course it felt good to be wired and energized, but this false energy went away and a heavier fatigue set in after the buzz wore off.

After a couple more days of drinking even stronger and stronger doses, 2 days of having a double Americano instead of just brewed at home, my body finally had enough and I was fatigued pretty much all day yesterday. That was the final draw, if I am to have the energy to help people with NB and do all the things I want to do with my website, this addiction has got to stop.

To be fair to myself, it is my last major unhealthy addiction in my life. This is why I'm not beating myself up too much. Getting rid of addictions takes time and patience. I got rid of my addictions to pills, pot, ciggs and alcohol over a 5 year period which I am very proud of. As far as the sugar drug goes, thanks to NB I don't actually have sugar cravings that often anymore and when I do, 1 little piece of chocolate is enough to satisfy. So this coffee is the last drug I use in my life that really gives me a distinct change of state, allows me to escape any discomfort of being tired, and makes me feel really good for awhile.

The thing is that now since I'm doing the Nutritional Balancing , I actually don't need it, overall I feel great and I actually have natural sustained energy a lot of the time. So the coffee drinking is defeating the purpose of this NB program because it's slowing down my healing. In the long run, I am wasting my money if I keep up this addiction because I'll have to keep buying the supplements longer to heal.

So last night, it was decided. I texted my friend who knows all about my coffee addiction and how I want to quit and I said if I drank coffee I would have to give him $25 every time I had some for the whole week. And to my delight, this morning I actually woke up feeling good, brewed some coffee for an enema and did that instead of drinking it. It gave me just the right amount of energy and right after I had some breakfast. This will be my new morning ritual.

I'll have to deal with the discomfort of being tired when those times come; with rest, infrared saunas and coffee enemas. Learning how not to resist being tired is an art and I will be working on it. I'm so grateful that life is supporting me in my healing journey. I'll be prioritizing this time I have to free myself from this final addiction. It's become clear that when I put my health first, everything else falls in place. Life force energy is one of the main ingredients for true happiness in life and I'm determined to reclaim mine.

Astrology note: Today the Sun conjunct Saturn in Scorpio in my 4th house of emotional security.

9 week Update - Sardines, Saunas, Syncing with the Moon and Using Reflexology

Is it strange that my idea of fun is building a sauna in my bathroom and seeing how much I can sweat? Well, that's what I consider fun these days. Whohoo!

I'm going on the 9th week of the NB program and overall I'm feeling so much better than before I started. There are definitely some days where I'm tired but it isn't nearly as severe as it was before I changed my diet and started the supplements. There is much less resistance when I do have tired days because I now have the awareness that my body and adrenals need to be in resting mode in order to heal. As I look back through my journals before I started this program I notice the crash pattern was much more severe than it is now and I never had days of sustained energy throughout the entire day like I do now. Before, I would have a few days of good energy and then up to a week of major fatigue. Now I have many days of good energy and then a couple days of fatigue but it isn't extreme. I have been working a few days a week doing some light manual labor (basically sitting down in a chair and using scissors to trim plants) and I have been able to go all day for a couple days without getting tired and this is huge progress!

My cravings for sugar and carbs are almost completely gone. I have been having gluten free waffles and gluten free toast with butter a few times a week for when I do crave carbs. I also have a little bit of raw sugar in my coffee in the morning. After dinner I usually get a slight sweet tooth but nothing like before I started the program. And I can definitely resist it most often. Occasionally I'll have a bite of sugar free chocolate but mostly I can get through the night without having any sweets. It took me a minute to realize this as I was writing this post but this is also huge progress! Wow I'm amazed at this myself.

There has been a constant slight body odor coming out of me and constant soreness in my hip flexor area. I see these things as positive because it means I am detoxing. I've been doing coffee enemas about 4 times a week and now I've started a sauna routine (see next post) in my bathroom in the evenings. Also, my feet are sore and I've been doing some foot reflexology. My feet have been sore in the duodenum and kidney areas. Rubbing these areas feels really good. If you push on your feet and you're sore in a specific area, you can use this chart to find out what part of the body it corresponds to.

My challenges remain the coffee addiction and eating more cooked veggies. I have been waking up tired and of course coffee is the first thing I think of. I just watched this podcast about Adrenal Fatigue and Pam Kileen talked about how drinking coffee won't allow the adrenals to heal. Duh! I totally know this instinctually but it's a powerful addiction that just won't let go. It makes perfect common sense and I really don't understand why Dr. Wilson and my practitioner told me 1 cup of coffee a day is okay when I'm in a four lows pattern. My mind used that as an excuse to start back up and now here I am back in the addiction. The reason they say this is because coffee is yang but I don't think that means it's good for everyone, especially people who's adrenal's are shot. 

Staying in witness consciousness watching myself play out the addiction loop once again. The difference this time is that I'm not beating myself up about it, I trust in the process. I also don't crave it later in the day like I used to, it's just in the morning. I'm holding the vision of my life without coffee strong in my mind and I know I'll be able to get there once again. My ideal routine is to wake up and do a sadhna practice first thing,  then after that I want to eat breakfast and do a Coffee Enema. Right now I am drinking coffee first thing and then eating breakfast and then meditation with a coffee enema.

In January I'll be going to a 12 day Ayahuasca retreat at the Temple of the Way of Light. This will be just the thing to get me back on a more healthy routine. In order to prepare for the trip, you have to cut out coffee, sugar, salt, pork, sex and masturbation and a few other things for a week or two. When I come back I will be caffeine free once and for all. In the meantime, I'm enjoying this damn coffee!

I finally tried Sardines and they're actually pretty good. Dr. Wilson has this great article about why Sardines are one of the best foods you can eat today. They're packed with Vitamin D, Omega 3s and Selenium, protein, and minerals. Selenium is a very important mineral which is crucial for our mental and spiritual development. I made a Sardine salad (which is kind of like tuna salad) that was recommended to me on FB. I ate it with blue chips and it was a delicious and filling snack.

Oh and I'm all synced up with the moon already. Cool! Last month the blood moon caused my period to come early and come super heavy. This month it synced me up with the full moon. This is a common benefit of being on the program for women.

On November 6th, the full moon in Taurus in my 10th house of career indicated a culmination of something. Well I finished my NB Practitioner's training exactly on that day and sent in my tests to Dr. Wilson. As long as I got 90% on all three tests, I'll be getting my diploma in about 2 weeks! Then I'll be paired up with an seasoned practitioner as a mentor for my advanced training. I'm so excited to start helping my friends and family get hair tests and start on a program. I already have at least 10 people interested. I have so much to learn about NB science, analyzing hair tests, and running a business and I'm ready for the challenge. Whohoo!

1 Month Update - Newness is Wearing off and the Challenges of Traveling

It's been 1 month since I started Nutritional Balancing. The newness of it is wearing off and it's been more challenging to stick with the diet. I'm not as energetic as I was in the first couple weeks but I do still have way more energy than I did without the supplements. I've continued doing coffee enemas most mornings. It's a great time for me to meditate, helps with the small headaches I've been having from detoxing, and always makes me feel good afterwords. And I've been studying like crazy. 25% through the NB book you need to read to become a practitioner. It's a biggie! I'm learning a lot and will need to read it 3 more times to make a lot of the information sink it.

I'm searching for some new recipe ideas and am working on getting creative with veggies while keeping them simple. This morning I'm going to try making Rutabaga fried potatoes because I'm missing potatoes for breakfast. I'm not waking up hungry or craving vegetables so I've started eating oatmeal with cinnamon, vanilla and butter. This is part of the diet if you can tolerate a little gluten which I seem to be doing fine with.

It was my Mom's birthday this week and I got to spend it with her, and my sister. We went to Tahoe for 2 nights. It was the first trip away from home since I started this program. I don't know how people can travel and stay on this diet! It's very challenging. I was also on my moon while we were there and feeling tired so although I made a good effort and managed to eat some of my meals in alignment with the diet, I slipped up a bit because I was hungry and the food was there in front of me. Unfortunately, most of the world's restaurants aren't exactly in alignment with the concept of a 70% vegetable diet so even when you do ask for more veggies they give you maybe 25% veggies on your plate. I did have an amazing steak at Lew Mar Nel's and 3 bites of my Mom's birthday cheesecake which was incredible. Sugar is truly a drug! There was this place called Sprouts Cafe which served healthier food, I had 2 good meals there. For breakfast I ordered a bowl of steamed spinach and 2 lightly scrambled eggs and they were happy to make it for me.

I've slipped up in the coffee department. Because I started waking up really tired with a headache all last week, I decided I could have a cup in the morning and typical to Trista fashion I had one the next morning and next morning and now I'm on day 5 of coffee in the morning. I just love the ritual too much. I'm keeping it at 1 cup and lightly caffeinated so it's not really giving me a huge buzz, it's more about the taste and the ritual. Right now, I'm sitting here in the quiet hours of the morning sipping my hot coffee, relaxing on my couch with the window open, breathing in the fresh cold air while listening to the rain outside and writing this blog. This scenario is possibly one of my favorite in life. And the coffee makes it that much better. Oh coffee you are my greatest love and the thorn in my existence. Someday I will conquer you.

There's a fine line between seeking perfection and having the discipline I want to live the life I want. With Saturn, the planet of discipline, as my Atmakaraka (my soul's direction) and on my ascendent (the body), I am here to learn to be disciplined especially when it comes to my body and what I put in it. Also this is indicated in my Gate 21 which is in my Human Design personality Earth - that which keeps me grounded. Gate 21 is all about control and it's true, I am on a path of learning to be in control of my ego mind and what I put in my body because it will help me live fully in the present moment. And at the same time I have to be gentle with myself and understand I'm allowed to slip up sometimes. Also, I have to be gentle with others remembering they have completely different life purposes.

Being in the casino part of Tahoe made me melancholic and sad for the state that humanity is in. Casinos to me are just filled with unhappy, unhealthy people who are are under a deep hypnosis and can't get out. I guess I'm more sensitive now to the vibrations of a place because as soon as we left our hotel and went into nature, my melancholy lifted and I felt great.

I had an insight about food. Most people including me have been raised in an environment that is focused on food as the source of pleasure and satisfaction. So much of life revolves around food, getting food, planning food, saving food, preparing food, eating food. And it's been this way for humans since we came to this planet. But instead of food for nourishment, today we've evolved our eating to the point where we eat food to stimulate our senses so we can feel alive. Most food is incredibly rich and flavorful, made with tons of salt and sugar because our senses have become numbed from so much stimulation. To overcome our food addictions, we need something that fulfill's us deeper than sensual pleasures. We MUST cultivate a connection to GOD, whatever form it is for you, because this connection is the ONLY thing that will truly fulfill us. And there's a feedback loop, the more we work on giving our bodies healthy food, the more we can connect to spirit, the more we connect to God/Sprit, the more we want to give ourselves healthy food. Toxins (sugar, alcohol, anti-depressants, drugs, preservatives, etc.) directly affect our ability to feel this connection. This is why plant medicines are so effective. They help us remember our divinity and connection to all things while taking away the stuck traumas and toxins that keep us feeling separate in our everyday life.

I will continue on the NB program, meditate everyday, be grateful for everything I have, spend lots of time in nature, and pray for my connection with the Divine Creator to deepen.

Next week I'll be working on building my home infrared sauna to help me detox even more. I plan on putting it in my bathroom for now.

Letting go of Bad Habits and Making Drastic Changes

A few nights ago I dreamt that someone was trying to slit my throat. I was on a date with a guy from my past who was wasted and wanted to make out with me in the car. When I didn't want to make out with him, he took out a razor and tried to cut my throat. I ran from the car and escaped.

Yes, violent dreams can be a detox symptom of being on a Nutritional Balancing program. But a friend inspired me to look a little deeper and I'm glad I did. The dream interpretation of getting killed in a dream says; "The dream of being killed refers to drastic changes you are trying to make. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of, a habit that you want to end within yourself. Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down, feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed."

Yes, I'm feeling overwhelmingly let down by our government, medical system and the general malaise of the population around what's considered normal eating habits. I'm trying to kill the habit of going with the grain, the conditioned mentality that says "oh don't worry, one donut/bagel/burger/candy bar/etc won't kill you" or "just relax, loosen up, have a beer." Well that's the mentality that got me to adrenal burnout and depression in the first place. This way of thinking is so pervasive, so sticky in the collective consciousness and that's exactly how our corrupted government wants it. They want to keep making money by keeping people sick, fat and medicated. Is it a secret anymore? They've got most of the population right where they want them; easily entertained, addicted to crap, numbed with anti depressants, distracted by trying to make enough money to survive, exhausted and getting sicker by the day.

I'm killing the habit of tolerating any BS in my life. The sweet complacent yes girl I used to be is dying. The warrior of light is waking up in her place. The substances and people who used to bring me comfort yet kept me stuck in a downward spiral no longer have the grip on me that they used to. And I'm empowered to keep going on this Nutritional Balancing path by the new energy I have. I'm coming alive, connecting more with my body and my values and becoming passionate about life again. Dreams and goals (besides getting healthy) actually feel graspable for the first time in forever. Just a year ago, my self esteem and energy was so low that I thought I'd never be able to accomplish anything. Well finally that phase is over.

For many years, I was stuck in the Maia, the illusion that I was separate from everything and everyone, and that what I did or didn't do really didn't make a difference. It was a deep, dark existential hole that I chose to dive into and explore. On top of that I was addicted to crap and my brain fog became so heavy at times I didn't really care about anything besides getting high and getting through the day. Guilt, shame, anger, addiction, and low self esteem clouded my view. I thought everyone was mad at me and was extremely judgmental of others. I didn't think I had anything to offer the world. Clawing my way out of that miserable hole took many years.

Now I see that one of the main reasons I had such a hard time escaping this mental state was because I was severely nutritionally depleted. I sense this is the case for many people these days who are living like zombies, lacking any real joy in their life. Many are just stuck in the familiar loop; work, consume, get entertained, numb out the pain, and do it again. Many don't have the energy to care or the awareness to know there is another way. There's an incredible fear permeating the air.

Well I'm not stuck anymore and now that I'm out of the mud, I see that my thoughts, actions, and words actually do impact the world around me and I know I can make that impact a positive one. I will shake people out of their haze, or perhaps I won't, either way is perfect.

The truth is that ultimately everything and everyone is perfectly right on track. The world is unfolding exactly as it should be. There is an unshakable peace in this ground of knowing that all is well. And at the same time on a relative level, this moment in this human form is as real as it gets. We can't escape ourselves, no matter how hard we try. Our perception of this moment is influenced by what we consume and what we consume in turn influences what kind of frequency we put out. That frequency can be one of love or it can be one of fear. The fear in me is dying and now my choice is clear, I'm choosing to trust and vibrate love.

This body and mind are a treasure, and if we treat it as such, we can uncover and explore it's true gifts. It's not an easy road to be a warrior of light, to free ourselves from our addictions and attachments. However, when we choose the path of light and fight for it despite all odds, we begin to connect with the subtle and innate beauty of life, we begin to shine the light of God/Spirit. This connection cultivates an inner joy that can't be taken away by any circumstance or person. And that joy is really all you need.

Personally I choose to fight against the malaise but treating my body with love. I'm interested in revealing my potential, living an incredible life, feeling great naturally and hopefully by writing about it I'm inspiring others to do the same. The journey to radiant health won't be an easy one, but I think it will be well worth it.

(P.S. This is what Mars in Sagittarius in my 5th house sounds like.)

Carrot Juice and Crazy Dreams

For many years I haven't really dreamed all that much, or at least I haven't remembered many dreams. Since I started the supplements I've been remembering my dreams almost every night and they're getting more interesting. Like last night I had a magical dream where I was flying around a floating land, it looked kind of like in the movie Avatar when Jake climbs up the floating chunks of mountain to bond with a banshee. It was lush and green and I was flying from castle to castle except without a banshee.

Two nights ago, I had a violent dream where an old boss I had in real life and I were on a date. He got wasted and I was driving us home in my car, we stopped in some parking lot and he wanted to make out. I wasn't feeling it and he got really mad and then pulled out a knife and tried to slit my throat. I got out and ran away from my car. (See my next post for my deeper interpretation about this dream. Thanks Sarah B for inspiring it.)

The next dream that night, I was in a bar with a couple of old friends. They were a lesbian couple and one of them was pregnant. She was chugging beers. I began to suggest to them how important it was that the baby got proper nutrition and they both just shrugged it off and kept drinking. I started to cry and felt so sorry for them and the baby. Then I left.

During my coffee enema the next morning I had a good cry. It felt like I was releasing some of the frustration I have with with world right now, a feeling I'm very familiar with (Gate 47). It didn't help that right before bed I watched The Gerson Miracle documentary on netflix. It really drilled home how many toxins we are bombarded with everywhere, everyday. The narrator explained it like this, "Avoiding toxins is like dodging bullets, in a hail of gunfire from multiple machine guns." Aiyo! We're screwed.

It's something I've been reading about and becoming more aware of lately. I think there's been a building sense of responsibility that it's my job to somehow save people from themselves and the toxicity we're swimming in. The weight of it was getting heavy. It was nice to cry it out.

Then I read in my NB book that violent dreams are a common detox symptom too so that explains the throat slitting one.

Now that I have such an amazing tool like NB, I want to help everyone with it. I realize there's not much I can really do except improve and detoxify myself, learn as much as I can, then inform through my website and blog and be available to those who want it. Otherwise it's just a waste of energy trying to convince someone of something they're not ready to see yet. But I am deeply concerned about my family and loved ones who mostly have toxic diets like I used to. Especially the little ones. I see their eyes and they look depleted already. I hope to get all of my family, even my extended family in the midwest, yeah I'm talking to you! on a NB program eventually, I'll just have to plant the seeds slowly over time.

I had my first 9oz carrot juice since I've been on the Nutritional Balancing program and wowzers! did it rev up my vibration. I even had trouble getting to sleep I was so energized from drinking it, that was around 2pm. It even tasted better than I remember. I'm definitely going to get a juicer as soon as I can afford it and I hope to replace my morning tea ritual with carrot juice soon.

I Watched Fed Up and I'm all Fired Up!

If you haven't watched it yet, I'd like to urge all my friends, FB acquaintances, family and anyone reading this to watch the documentary Fed Up and share it with your friends and family. If you have children in public schools it's even more important. The documentary is currently streaming free on Putlocker. I've summarized it here if you don't have time.

It is widely known amongst the medical field that too much sugar has been proven to not only make us fat, it also wreaks havoc on our liver, mucks up our metabolism, impairs brain function, and may leave us susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. ("Your Brain on Sugar") 

The government has a lot of propaganda out about what we need to do about the alarming rate of obesity in our country. It's telling us to use our willpower, exercise more and eat less calories. Yet the very same people are allowing the processed food industry, which puts sugar in everything, to infiltrate our grocery stores and schools. Sugar is the one of the most addictive substances known to man.

• In a lab study, cocaine addicted rats were given a choice of either sugar water or more cocaine. Once they tasted the sugar water, 40 out of 43 rats chose the sugar water every time they entered the cage. 

Our government is supporting the obesity epidemic in our country by allowing unsafe amounts of sugar to go in nearly every product in grocery stores.

• There are 600,000 items for purchase in a typical big chain grocery store, 80% of them have added sugar

Everywhere we go we are bombarded by advertising that triggers our brain to crave junk and fast food and it's making it virtually impossible for people to get off the sugar train. You should be outraged as we are being attacked by extremely powerful forces that make up the major food suppliers of this country. Our country is sick, diseased, exhausted, dumbed down and complacent due to our sugar consumption.

• 1 in 5 children in America are overweight today
• in 1980 - Zero Adolescents had Type 2 Diabetes
• in 2010 - 57,600 Adolescents had Type 2 Diabetes which used to be called Adult onset diabetes.
• At the rate we're going, 95% of Americans will be overweight in 2 decades
• By 2050, 1 in 3 Americans will have diabetes. 

Where this all started? Back in 1977 - The McGovern Report, after reviewing a study senator McGovern warned that obesity would be a major concern if the food industry kept going the same way it was. The Sugar, Fat, Dairy, and Meat industries all banned together and lobbied against releasing this report. Instead they encouraged Americans to buy lower fat food.  But when you take the fat out of food it makes it taste bad, so they started adding sugar! The low-fat industry was born and our intake of sugar was on the rise.

• So from 1977-2000 - American's have doubled their intake of sugar
• There are 257 different names that food companies use for sugar. The body absorbs all of them the same way, secreting more insulin which converts into fat. So whether it's agave, cane sugar, raw sugar, it's all addictive and harmful if consumed over 6 teaspoons per day

• In 2002 the World Health Organization which sets global health standards put out a report (TRS916) that said sugar is a major if not the cause of chronic metabolic disease and obesity in the world. They were going to reduce the recommend daily intake of sugar to 10% of calories, which is about 6 tsp.
• However Sugar lobbyists got together and threatened Tommy Thompson, then the secretary of the WHO, that they (the Sugar industry) would withhold their contribution of $406 million dollars if the WHO published that report.
• The sugar industry got their way and instead the WHO recommended the daily intake of sugar to be 25% of total calories.
• The average American diet consists of 20-45 teaspoons of sugar/day.

• The Let's Move Campaign by Michelle Obama was a good effort on her part to get healthier food to our children. The processed food corporations began to panic and instead of fighting her they joined her. The deal they signed was they had to change the recipes instead of removing harmful ones or adding good ones. They basically got away with re-engineering the processed food, creating new labels, and making new products that they could market. Nothing became healthier.
• 50% of school cafe's have contracts with major soda and fast food companies
• Processed food industry's banned together so the FCC couldn't ban marketing of their junk food to children. From 2008-2010 children's exposure to junk food ads increased 60%. It's been shown that kids as young as 2 years old begin to recognize brands. And which brands do you think they learn first? Coke and McDonalds! 

What are we going to do about this when right now eating healthy is like swimming upstream? It's actually cheaper to eat whole foods and veggies than it is to eat fast food, contrary to popular belief and what our advertisers would like us to believe. But whose going to choose healthy food when junk food is everywhere we turn?

As far as I'm concerned, if you're upset with the way our government is functioning right now, (and if you're not, you're in a sugar coma), one of the most radical things you can do to fight back is to take control of your diet and say NO to the processed and packaged food industry. Say No to consuming junk food and fast food.

We don't need to put blame on ourselves and beat ourselves up about willpower. It's not completely our fault, the cards are currently stacked against us when it comes to being healthy and getting educated about health care. But we can choose to take action against this detestable act of terrorism on our people by our own government.

A Nutritional balancing program allows people to get the vital minerals and vitamins they need through supplements. When the body gets what it really wants, it naturally begins to feel energized and happy. This is proven to decrease sugar cravings. It's the only real solution I see right now that can help people stop their sugar and food addictions without the need for incredible willpower and excessive exercise. Now we just need to figure out a way to get all the right vitamin and mineral supplements to everyone in the country for low cost.

In the meantime, spread the word about the Fed Up Documentary and start to taking steps towards reclaiming the health and vitality of you and your family. Please help your children by teaching them proper nutrition, put them on a kelp supplement at the very least to get them the minerals they need. Start introducing whole food snacks. Begin to change your perspective of what food is. Understand that 80% of what you see in grocery stores is not food our body wants. We need your kids to reach their full potential and be the super hero's they were designed to be. We need them healthy to create a brighter future. Back to whole foods we must go!

My 1st Detox Symptom and an Inspirational Testimony from a Former Sugar Addict

It's been 2 weeks since I've been on the Nutritional Balancing diet for my Adrenal Fatigue, and 1 week on the supplements and I'm feeling great. **I'm continuing the coffee enemas with the energy meditation ever other day.** They aren't making me super energized like the first one, I'm only doing 1 at a time and I just feel cleared out afterwords. The 4 lows program I'm on is designed so it puts the adrenal's to rest, in order to do that I'm taking a high dose of Ca/Mg. It's starting to kick in and although I'm waking up spritely early in the morning (6am) I'm slowing down around midday and taking hour naps. I'm also falling asleep at night around 930 or 10. This morning I feel a little tired. (on a side note, Saturn is Squaring my Moon exact today so I'm not surprised)

A few days ago I had so much energy I got a little worried because my whole body was vibrating. My practitioner said that my body wasn't used to getting that many nutrients and it would adjust back soon, and it has. Also 2 days ago I had insatiable hunger all day, I stuck with the diet mostly until the evening, when I broke down and made some Pamela's GF pancakes with sugar free syrup. And I ate 2 big ones and they were delicious, but I was still hungry! So I had another one. It's been more difficult to stick with the diet the last few days. I'm generally not craving veggies but as soon as I start eating them, with butter and garlic powder and salt, they taste delicious and I'm happy to finish my plate. I plan on finding some new variety in the way I prepare my food to keep it interesting. And I'll be sharing my recipes on my blog.

My first detox symptom is a welcome sign. Besides some diarrhea from my body not being used to so many veggies, I've had muscle soreness at the top of my legs in the hip flexor area for a few days. I looked it up and in this area of the body there are a concentrated amount of lymph nodes where the toxins gather. (see diagram above) They're called Inguinal Lymph Nodes. It's a common symptom of detox to get soreness in the legs. I've been massaging this area, stretching, and taking walks to keep the flow moving. Today the discomfort seems to have decreased. I'm glad to get a sign that my body is detoxing. It's making me want to build my near infrared sauna ASAP so I can have another way of getting rid of the toxins besides the enemas. Apparently, my whole posture is going to be shifting overtime as my muscles, ligaments and bones detox. Exciting.

Nutritional Balancing has already changed my life so much I'm going to study to become a practitioner so I can help others regain their health and vitality. My brain is functioning much more clearly and quickly since I've started the program. I'm already learning so much about health and very eager to learn more. Previously, I would've gotten easily overwhelmed and tired by taking in so much information and probably given up, but now I know I'll have the energy and focus to accomplish my goals. I have to read 3 books and take 3 tests to get my diploma. Then I plan on doing the Advanced Training where I work with an experienced coach on reading hair test results. One step at a time though. I have to remind myself, "Man man lai, little grasshopper." (chinese for go slowly) I applied and sent in the fee a couple days ago, the books are on their way. Whohoo!

Here's an inspiring testimonial from Elisabeth's Nutritional Balancing website.  I haven't talked with her yet, but I think I want her to be my advanced training coach cause I like her vibe.

"I am 38 and have been on a nutritional balancing program for about 2 years.  I feel better now than I have my whole life!  I am free of the anxiety, nervousness, fear, doubt and low-self esteem that used to be right under the surface.  This is such a gift.

Even better, I am free from the need to constantly eat sugar.  I used to" have to have it".  I would eat bags of hard candy, candy bars, chocolate and drink tons of caffeine and my cravings were so intense.  Nothing could stop me from eating sugar.

I was like a heroine addict.  I would lie, steal and sneak around to be able to eat more sugar...it was crazy. Now that is like a dream.  It seems so unreal I was ever like that, yet it was less than a year ago!

I also have good energy, and I feel clear and calm most of the time.  When emotional stuff comes up I can sit in my sauna, do a coffee enema, do the meditation by Roy Masters - and I'm back to clarity.
Thank-you...thank-you...thank-you!"
~Elizabeth, Wyoming

Thanks for following my blog and have a beautiful day!

**Frequent Coffee enemas aren't recommended unless you're on a nutritional balancing program because they can leech important minerals from your body. 

Detox Supplements and their Cost (Be Careful of Iron Supplements)

Here is a list of the detox supplements I'm taking for my Nutritional Balancing program and some vitamin and mineral information.

*NOTE - this was my prescription for my 1st hair test when I was in the 4 Lows pattern. It changes every 4 months. For a list of detox supplements everyone needs see my article here.

I've never taken so many pills in my life! But it's totally worth it. The supplements and dosages were specific for my hair test results. The numbers indicate the dosages throughout the day. So 2-2-2 means 2 pills 3x day. It definitely isn't cheap. I did the math and it comes out to $5.37/day or $161/month for my current regime. To put it in perspective, pretty much the same price as a daily fancy latte at Starbucks. I've already sent out a prayer to the universe to help me make enough money to buy organic food and my supplements.

Even if you're not going to do a Nutritional Balancing program because you're not ready yet, you can try some of these detox supplements that everyone needs and see how you feel. However, it is recommended to use a trained practitioner to get the formula just right. Hair Test results aren't easy or intuitive to read. I'm an approved practitioner and would love to work with you if you're interested.

Keep in mind, just by changing my diet I felt way better even before I started the supplements. (Haven't had to take my bladder infection supplement since I started the program!)

You also get a 20% discount from Endomet labs if you mention your practitioner's name. All of the info below is from Dr. Wilson's website. I summarized and added links if you'd like to read more.

TMG 1-1-1 : (Trimethylglycine) (I chose Source Naturals 750mg $19.59/240 ct) This supplement functions and acts like an anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory, energy booster, methyl donor and more. When ingested the body converts the methyl groups into components. One of those is a B-complex vitamin that has been shown to benefit chronic fatigue syndromes, allergies, alcoholism and drug addictions. It's also been shown to assist with speech and behavior in autistic people, it improves ADHD and neurological function. The other component is Glycine which is an amino acid important in the formation of collagen, among other functions. It also increases the body's natural production of SAM-e which helps with depression. *Note 12/30/15: Dr Wilson recently changed the recommendation of this supplement, women should only take 1000mg a day and men can take up to 2000mg

Limcomin 2-1-2: ($34.40 for 180 ct with 20% discount or more when you have a practitioner) This is a formula made by Endomet Labs which contains copper, manganese, zinc, magnesium, and vitamins A, C and B6. It's useful for boosting the immune system and to correct infections in the body. I suspect this supplement has a lot to do with why I was able to stop taking D-Mannose after a few days.

Paramin 3-3-3: (same price as Limcomin) Another formula made by Endomet Labs that is mainly Calcium and Magnesium supplements with some boron and Vitamin D. It helps balance the pH, autonomic nervous system, it calms the nerves to promote rest and sleep. They recommend only buying this formula because they don't get the same results from other calcium magnesium products. I was prescribed a heavy dose because I was in a 4-lows pattern and Paramin helps "put the adrenals to bed" so they can rebuild.

GB-3: 1-1-1 ($44.00/180 ct) An Endomet labs digestive enzyme supplement formula made from ox bile, pancreatin and Russian black radish. GB3 helps kill infections, yeasts, parasites and other flora or micro-organisms in the intestines that aren't ideal. It can also help destroy cancer cells and is an excellent liver support formula that helps the body eliminate many toxic metals and chemicals from the liver. (hence the need for the coffee enemas to flush out the toxins) The only alternative I know about which is close but not as powerful is  Now Foods Super Enzymes.

Taurine: 2-1-2 ($37.60/180 ct) Endomet Labs formula. An amino acid that is usually only prescribed with those in a four lows pattern. Helps will lots of things in the body. See the link for more info.

Kelp: 2-2-2 (Nature's Way $5.99/180 ct) Something Dr. Wilson recommends for everyone (except if you have a serious thyroid issue) as an excellent all around trace mineral supplement. It also has protein, vitamins and is rich in folic acid, a special form of calcium and bioavailable iodine. He speaks of why he chooses kelp above all other mineral supplements or green foods and also why it's important to buy the right brand in this article here.

Vitamin D3: 5,000 iu/day (Healthy Origins $12.34/360 ct) New research indicates that going out in the sun doesn't seem to help one's Vitamin D status much, unless all day long. Vitamin D deficiency is a growing epidemic across the world and is contributing to many chronic debilitating diseases. It is involved in multiple repair and maintenance functions, touches thousands of different genes, regulates the immune system and much more. It's very effective against many things including cancer, and it reduces the chance of heart disease and diabetes by 43%.

Fish Oil: 1,000 mg/day (Puritan Pride: 3 bottles for $19.99). Dr. Wilson doesn't specify the brand on this one and I had already bought these. I'll probably get a different one next time because omega-3 is the most important and this blend has 3,6 and 9. Omega-3's are important for lubricants for the joints, keeping the cell membranes flexible and as an anti-inflammatory. These fatty acids are very important for the nervous system and a lack of them can contribute to ADD and ADHD, autism, learning disabilities and many common mental and emotional problems of children and adults.

If you're on an Iron Supplement, please read this article to learn about iron toxicity. He says in many cases of iron deficiency anemia, the cause is not really poor iron levels but copper toxicity and or biounavailable iron. Many doctors are prescribing iron to patients who do not need it, including most menstruating women who have copper toxicity and copper biounavailability causing their anemia. This wastes time and money and leads to worsening iron overload.

Lots of love on your journey to radiant health!

It's Not about Willpower; Why We Keep Putting Crap in Our Mouths

Subtitle: Don't settle for a mediocre life! You are born to be healthy, happy and shine your light.

I woke feeling inspired and full of energy this morning and immediately felt overwhelmingly grateful. I have been praying for energy and mental clarity for more than 10 years and it's finally here to stay. I'm so motivated to stick with this Nutritional Balancing program because I'm already feeling so good and can only imagine how I will feel when I detox the heavy metals from my body. I've wanted to write for so long but didn't have the energy or motivation and now it's just pouring out of me effortlessly. I feel like I've discovered a gem and want to shout it from the mountain tops. Here I go. (See my next post for a list of supplements I'm taking.)

Last night in my dream I was at the movies filling up a plate with pizza, hot dogs, ice cream and candy. I was surprised in the dream that I was choosing these things to eat. Luckily I woke up and didn't have those cravings. I have to admit, a few times over the past couple of weeks it's been difficult to choose a plate of broccoli over a burrito. However, my cravings haven't been strong enough to deter me from the veggies. I'm more determined than ever to get my energy back. This is huge progress considering how I used to give in to every desire my body had. Cravings and the idea of willpower are something I've gotten to know very intimately over the years. Here's my rant about it.

Being in human form is a rare gift and we all have potential to use that gift or lose it. When we're sick and toxic life can truly just feel like a burden and a curse. And unfortunately most of humanity is toxic, we're born into toxicity these days. Not to mention our own government is supporting a food industry which pumps out processed food products packed with sugar and other toxic chemicals that we're consuming at an alarming rate. This explains a lot about what's going on in the world and the way people are acting. When the brain doesn't get the proper nutrients, it doesn't function correctly and our perspective is skewed. We lose sight of who we really are and we begin distrust ourselves and one another. The world become seemingly unsupportive and threatening and slowly we shove our hearts into a protective shell that doesn't allow us to experience the gift of life, in all it's pain and glory.

We are ALL born with these incredible body/heart/mind vehicles that are designed to be curious, create, explore, love, laugh, share with each other, connect with the divine, feel the whole spectrum of emotions, live in prosperity, and express our unique gifts. And this process doesn't have to stop just because we get old. The sad part is most people never get to tap into their true potential because they loose energy and give up. Many people are tired and giving up on life because they are one or all of the following;

A) Severely nutritionally depleted and toxic and addicted to junk. (which causes depression, disease, addictions, brain fog, and a lack of connection with spirit).
B) Raised in an unhealthy environment with role models who despite having good intentions, were raised in a dysfunctional world and are teaching dysfunctional ways of being. (i.e. work hard so you can get a lot of money and have a lot of things, beauty is more important than brains)
C) Heavily conditioned by the media to stay stuck in the rut of a mediocre existence. (working at an unfulfilling job, barely getting by, living in fear, eating sugar, drinking alcohol, indulgence and gluttony, materialism)
D) Informed by Western Medicine which is extremely outdated, mostly corrupted by big business, and addresses problems from a symptoms approach.

I have news for you, it's your birth right to not only be healthy, but to thrive and be happy. And now I know it all starts with proper nutrition and chemistry. The human body is the most complex and intelligent system in the universe. It knows how to heal itself, all it needs it the right tools. At their origin, all of our insecurities, emotional and health problems can be traced back to the lack of proper minerals for healthy brain and body functioning. It's so incredible that Nutritional Balancing has discovered this and is not only healing people but helping them to be truly happy and re-discover their unique, incredible, confident, and radiant selves. What a gift we finally have for true healing.

It's been confusing for me navigating the many opinions about what supplements to take or how to address my fatigue, depression and addictions. A few things have come along to help me, mainly Ayahuasca, yoga and meditation. And I would still recommend these tools to anyone suffering from life and addictions. Now, Nutritional Balancing has come along to help round out my journey to radiant health. It's an all encompassing system, addressing every aspect of healing, not just the physical, but the emotional, psychological and spiritual as well.

Please consider this for a moment. Do you really believe that your highest self wants you to poison your body? When we put toxic things like pot, alcohol, cigarettes, pills, sugar, stimulants, junk food, pharmaceuticals, and fast food into our body, we are being driven by a media conglomerate that wants us to stay stuck in mediocrity. It's not what we really want, we are just filling a void and following along like good little zombies.

Deep down we know these things aren't good for us but we can't stop ourselves. We are all just trying to feel better and ingesting this stuff can accomplish that goal temporarily. When we stuff a donut in our face, take a shot of Cuervo, or snort a line of coke, for a little while we feel satisfied. But it isn't long before the cravings start again and the void needs refilling. I'm not saying we can't enjoy and indulge once in a while but unfortunately many of the things we consider delicious contain highly addictive substances, mainly sugar, that keep us going back for more. What if you could live your life free of constant cravings? What if you didn't need anything to keep you energized during the day? What if you could feel alive and vibrant everyday? Would you choose to be free from your suffering? Nutritional Balancing is the solution.

The sad truth is that all of these toxic substances (which unfortunately are encouraged by our incompetent government and healthcare system) are keeping the human population stuck in chaos mentality, dumbed down so they can be easily controlled, passive, sick and disempowered. Why do you think there are so many advertisements for alcohol, candy and junk food? And even top athletes now are spokespeople for alcohol and soda? This doesn't make any sense. Why would a true athlete who depends on their body for success encourage the consumption of something that is toxic to their body?

The problem is, it's very difficult to stop this vicious cycle. At this time on earth, it's not easy to escape the downward spiral of the masses into chaos and idiocracy. Especially when you have adrenal fatigue or a debilitating depression or disease and it's taking every ounce of energy in you just to wake up and get dressed for work in the morning, fighting for your health and happiness is virtually impossible. When we're nutritionally depleted, simple functioning is a struggle. Trying to eat right when you feel like there's a freight train weighing you down is an unsurmountable task. It's a dark vortex that people get sucked into, and doctor's although well intentioned, aren't helping any by prescribing us medications.

Trust me, I know how difficult it is to stop putting crap into my mouth. Willpower has been something I've struggled with for most of my adult life. I've spent way too much energy beating myself up because I didn't have the willpower to quit my addictions. As a young and rebellious dumb teenager, I instinctively knew that what I was putting in my body was not healthy but I was confused and easily influenced by the people around me. So I started down the road of drinking, smoking pot and cigs, taking vicodin, drinking coffee, red bulls, soda, eating Taco Bell, KFC, and In and Out (I can hear some people thinking "but In and Out is the healthy fast food"- no people, it's not). I even went through a phase of snorting stuff up my nose. I knew I was hurting myself but I really couldn't stop myself. I wanted to keep up with the world, keep being busy and "having fun" (which at the time my idea of having fun included getting wasted) because that's what everyone around me was doing so I though that was the important thing to do.

The only reason I eventually had to stop this cycle was because my body began to shut down and die. I guess I'm lucky in that way. My fatigue and depression were a gift in disguise. They became so debilitating I couldn't ignore it anymore. I knew I had to shape up or my health would only get worse.  But it seemed impossible to get rid of my addictions. My life slowly became darker and more draining. I felt like I was slogging through mud just to function in life. My relationships suffered, I became isolated and deeply insecure with no drive or motivation to do anything. Simple mundane tasks like washing my car was a huge deal. I couldn't make commitments to social events because I didn't know if I was going to be exhausted or not. People in my life didn't understand what I was going through and got hurt because I couldn't show up for them anymore. I tried hormone replacement, detox diets, adrenal supplements, acupuncture, teas, tinctures, oils etc. but nothing seemed to work. Seeking for solutions became more draining because no one really had the answers.

No one should have to live like this. So many people in the world are exhausted and depressed. Our exhaustion and diseases are a wake up call from our higher self asking us to take responsibility for what we consume.

Over the years I have learned that the dark forces that are driving our cravings and lack of willpower are a combination of things. As I've addressed each of these things, my cravings have dropped away.
1. Toxins from the environment and our food.
2. Unresolved stuck energy from traumas in our lives that hasn't been released. These stuck energies become unconscious mental loops that play themselves out in addictions and other destructive behaviors.
3. Parasites and other entities that lodge themselves into our weakened bodies, further depleting our life force.
4. All the toxic media we are bombarded by on a daily basis encouraging us to consume things that aren't healthy for us.
5. Beliefs and ideas about ourselves and the world that we hold onto.

Again, I ask why is it widely accepted and even cool to need alcohol to relax and have a good time? Really? It's cool to make yourself dumbed down? The current collective consciousness around consuming sugar, stimulants and alcohol to have fun is so deeply ingrained in society that it seems impossible to reverse. But I know as humanity awakens and become more heart centered over the next 1200 years as we approach the Golden Age once again, we will see less and less of this need for external devices to make us happy.

We were born to be confident, creative, playful and enjoy our life without the need for substances. Sure having a drink every once in awhile can be fun. The great thing is, the more your body/mind get the nourishment it really wants, the less fun it is to get wasted Peace and clarity become more fun than the cloudiness substances bring.

The beautiful part of Nutritional Balancing is that it isn't about willpower and making ourselves stop these habits. Once we start taking the supplements, our body begins to receive the vital nutrients it needs so the toxic cravings begin to fall away naturally. This doesn't happen right away, but it will overtime, generally from what I've read, it happens within a year of starting the program. In the beginning if you have unhealthy cravings and give into them, it's okay, just keep taking the supplements. You don't have to have strong willpower and eat the diet, the willpower comes as the body gets what it really wants. Of course a focused effort on eating mostly cooked veggies, meditation, detox and relaxation will help the process along faster. Just by taking the mineral supplements advised by your practitioner after your hair analysis, the body will naturally fall back into it's desire for healthy foods. Also, your intention to heal and drop your addictions holds a lot of weight. Never give up.

The other process that happens naturally as the body heals itself with proper nutrition is that our old traumas and stuck energies are addressed and released. It's an interesting process called retracing and anyone who's done an extended detox program has experienced this. It can cause emotional upheaval, rashes, stomach issues, anxiety, sleeplessness, fatigue, and other uncomfortable effects, but these symptoms pass and the body feels lighter and more energetic afterwards because the issues have been dealt with. This isn't a easy process but it's so worth it to feel good again.

The first step to healing is accepting that you need to change. Ask for guidance from the universe (even if you don't believe in God or a higher power, just ask) and be willing and open to do the work. It's not always easy to pry yourself from the powerful machine of oppression and conditioning we are surrounded by. I'm here to tell you it is possible, and much easier with Nutritional Balancing. This wisdom is here for all of us to take advantage of Now. It's more critical than ever to reclaim your health, vitality and authenticity. Won't you join me?

PS. I realize some of these ideas may sound like a radical perspective to some, and you're questioning the validity of my words because I'm not a trained doctor or nutritionalist. Rightfully so. However I've gradually detoxing for the past 10 years and I have seen my addictions fall away as I've cleared out my system. I plan to get more educated and acquire the scientific knowledge necessary to be able to make these claims with evidence to back them up. I am a 6/2 Manifestor after all, here to go deep (Gate 48), shock people (Gate 51), bring impact, and educate the tribe (45-21) After over 10 years of struggling for my true health and happiness and learning a few things along the way, I finally feel like I have something to share. I am being drawn to become a Nutritional Balancing practitioner so I can help people who suffer reclaim their health. My intention is to inspire and motivate!